Well well - of course I can´t keep my mouth shut! (that´s not how I was brought up. We were allowed free speech.)

And this time I´m very concerned about the Israeli doctor N. That´s all I know about him! Except that he wrote the best comments ever on the Alice Miller web-site! What concerned me (I beacame very angry) was that neither Alice Miller nor Barbara Rogers (they work together on this site) responded him! The either ignored his VERY valuable (and frank) words - OR simply abused him! (with words.)

I just can´t believe this. And I VERY much doubt that this site has anything to do with Alice Miller! If so (if I am right) someone must take legal action!

To MY letter (which wasn´t published on the site) they simply answered (I mean Barbara answered) that I was "psychoanalytically contaminated"! When I replied that I didn´t want to be insulted (I hadn´t insulted THEM - just raised a question!) I got another reply saying I WAS psychologically contaminated! (and therefore a hopeless case. They couldn´t help me!) (I had never ASKED for help. Just wanted to start a discussion.) I have tried to contact them again - in vain. No reply!

And - now I see it happen again - with a fine man giving of himself and his experience! Doctor N. in Israel! Does anybody know him? Or - if you should read this yourself, doctor N. - I would like very much to get into contact with you!

Well well. I don´t think I´ll continue writing here. No point! I have sort of become invisible. Very few people answers me these days. Some days I wonder if I EXIST at all! (like throwing my words out into nothingness.)

I supppose I ought to just shut up! (that is stop talking and writing.) Who wants to listen to me anyway? (well at least I´ve got my cat - Pelle! He doesn´t reproach me or think I´m crazy or wants me to be any other person than who I am!) ( my parents were the same. Wish they were here. Maybe the only ones who really cared!)

I think I´ll do what I normally do when I feel lonely (or just want to "discuss" something) - write to my "twin soul" the poet Tomas Tranströmer! He can´t respond (suffers from aphasia) but I know he understands! ( he is like my brother. Would never condemn me. Even laughs at my jokes!)

Hör suset av regn.
Jag viskar en hemlighet
för att nå in dit.

MY poem - which he included in his most recent collection! (The Great Riddle or The Great Mystery. Hasn´t been translated yet. Swedish title: Den stora gåtan.) I wish he would tell it to the WORLD! (how can he? Suffers from aphasia!)

Hojsan hojsan här. Nu fick jag napp! Från självaste Per Wirtén! (sorry all Englishspeaking readers - if I have any - I got contact here with a famous Swede! Journailst and editor of magazine Arena. I have to use Swedish for a while.) (he is in Transylvania to visit his old friend Count Dracula...)

Förlåt mitt dumma skämt. Transylvanerna är utleda på den gamle greven. Tänk dig att berätta att man kommer från Transylvanien och se liksom skräck i folks ögon. "Jaså säger du det?" (var la jag vitlöken? Och korset?)

När jag och min bästis var i Polen 1976 var ABBA väldigt populära där. Så fort man sa att man var från Sverige lyste folk upp och sa "Ah! ABBA!" (som dom uttalade med båda b:na fullt hörbara.) Vi blev populära för att vi kom från samma land som denna sagolika grupp! (själv hade jag ett svalt intresse för dom - minst sagt.)
Det var så OTROLIGT fattigt där (man förstod verkligen varför Solidaritet växte fram). Dom kanske behövde lite glamour? Eller - var det låten Waterloo som tilltalade polackerna? Svenskar som erkänner sig besegrade! (Polen tillhörde ju oss en gång. Vilket man fick lite gliringar för.)

Nackdelen med det rika Sverige är att arbetssökandet blev omgärdat med rigida (onödiga, löjliga) regler. Förr (i det gamla fattigare Sverige) tog man jobbb lite hur som helst - där det FANNS! (ibland från en dag till nästa. Det var bara att börja!) I PRAKTIKEN finns det hur många jobb som helst (för arbetslösa) - men det går inte att få dom på grund av alla regler. (oj vilka påhopp jag kommer att få. Men det får jag väl ta. Jag är inte nån liten försiktig mes...)

Det värsta är nog ändå byråkratiseringen - som smugit sig in i privatlivet! (i dom flesta länder verkar dom skilja mellan offentligt och privat i denna fråga. Men i Sverige har byråkratin nästlat sig in i sovrummen!) Jag överdriver jag vet. Men detta är en av mina käpphästar. Är vi inte mer en byråkrati än en demokrati? Och hur går demokrati (folkvälde) ihop med monarki? (envälde. Som ju i praktiken inte ÄR det. Kungen ÄR liksom inte vår statschef!) Hurra för att leva i ett sagoland!

Min nya titel: åsiktskonstnär! (hittade jag på idag.)
Vi hade ett litet utbyte (av åsikter) om Latinamerika. Remember? Politiken sitter väl i generna! (ministrar och partiledare i släkten.)

Step 2: how to get people to read my blog! (otherwise it will be like masturbating. Or talking to yourself. I will end up a crazy old woman walking about talking loudly to myself!)

You know what I read? A man who was an unemployed actor got this marvellous idea. He began to search on Google for people with his name - and found 7 or 8. And then he got the brilliant idea to do a FILM about them! Great! What a party! When all the 9 John Keillors (or what their name was) met and talked! (I can hear them. "John?" - "Yes?"from an 8-voiced collective!)

Well well. My name is so uncommon that probably nobody else has it. So - I will just have to think of something else! (of course. Why pinch somebody else´s concept? I´ll think of somehing!)

Step 3 (no this is really step 1): You´ve got to have somehing to say!

Of course I have to have a THEME on my blog. Or else it will just be BORING. Reading thoughts from someone just rambling on and on! (I´ve read some blogs like that. After a while you just fall asleep. ZZZZZzzzzzzzzzz....)
So - what will be my theme? How about: psychiatry? What kind of society do we want? And why?

L´enfer, c´est les autres. (Hell is the others.) Do you agree? (said by Jean-Paul Sartre.) And in that case, would you like to write a sequel to this? Le paradis, c´est etre seul! (Heaven is to be alone. Free at last, free at last, free at last!)

No he didn´t mean that did he? Suppose not.

I´m sitting here enjoying my aloneness. No more people PLEASE! (forcing you to speak, forcing you to do this and that, you can´t be yourself and so the night-mare grows by each second. Where can I HIDE???)

This wasn´t my child-hood. This wasn´t what my parents demanded. I was relaxed, I liked to be with them - and with my sisters and friends! (must have been a thousand years ago. I have landed in the middle of a nigh-mare. Please help me wake up!)

What have I DONE??? I had decided to remain alone. Sitting in my little hut in the forrest (which I don´t have) with my cat, walking around humming songs, thinking and reading. And here I am , connecting to the WORLD. (no use denying your nature. Must be inherent. Connecting and discussing and hugging!) (that´s the drawback of Internet. You can´t easily hug...)
I am a Swede so you may find some errors in my English (not many though. I hope. Dame Judi Dench said she was very impressed with my English!)
Whoops. I did it again! Boasted! (that´s what people think I do - it seems. Like "who do you think you ARE??")
Yes who DO I think I am? Let´s sleep on it shall we? Sorry - I mean I will sleep on it. See you!

Am I a blogger? Really? My God these letters are too big! Well anyway, this is my first blog ever! My first message to the world! (no it isn´t. I´m always exaggerating.)

Whoops. I don´t know what to say! I wanted to say something to the interesting person KKB but I don´t know how to do!

Anyway - I´m a musician (classically trained), writer (just wrote my first book and waiting for the publisher to accept it), psychologist (self-taught), philosopher (in this field EVERYONE is self-taught), film-freak, Christian buddhist (yes you CAN do it!) , lover of cats (have one myself - Pelle), trees, mountains, little brooks, walking, the wind, birds and CHILDREN!

I like to teach people, make them laugh and discuss all sorts of things. And hug the ones I love!

I am 57, a Pisces and born in the year of the Tiger! (a kind and happy tiger. But don´t push me too far!) (Rrrrrowrrr!) (mostly I just like to purr.)

Here is my aphorism:
Wherever you are, YOU will be there! (in case you wonder I am in Sweden. I am, infact, a Swede!)